• May 23

Can people change?

Can people really change? And what triggers that change?
I’ll admit, this one was for medical reasons, but it’s easier this way, easier than when I last tried, because I thought it was the right thing to do… What *is* she going on about I can hear you think… Well…

faragon@coffee$ smoketimer
4 Days, 22 hours, 56 minutes, 52 seconds.
74 cigarettess not smoked, saving EUR 15.61.
Life saved: 7 Hours, 24 minutes.

Besides that, I’m sitting here, by myself (really, I hardly *ever* do blog postings when I’m with company, I’m not *that* socially inept) eating a home cooked meal. I cooked, for myself, because I felt like having a real dinner. Besides, I’m trying to gain weight, and I decided that eating might be a good starting point :-) (Those darned medical reasons again)

Last, but not least… I (with a little help from my friends) cleaned my flat. This time because *I* actually wanted it, not because someone else thought or said that I should. Usually I’m quite passive about the whole cleaning thing. It’s a lot, I don’t know where to start *panic*, it’s not a lot, why bother, keep that up till you end up in the panic place and there you go, you have me not doing anything.
Right now, I’m pro-active.
Yesterday, I built and IKEA Expedit all by myself, then I put stuff in it. After finishing dinner, I will put some more Flarkes together, so I can finally unpack my books (which are now blocked by Flarkes), so I can reach the closets in the storage room, so I can put away all the laundry I’m doing.
For the first time in my life, I have a plan and I’m sticking by it. I don’t expect perfection of myself, which is also rare in my book, and I am happy for every little step I do make on my way to a clean and mostly tidy appartment.

I wonder what caused all these changes. What canged so much that my way of thinking changed?
Is it all really a state of mind?
Can I loose that state of mind any minute now?
Can I keep this up?
I like to believe I can. Actually, I believe I can. End of story, the way this is going, this is easy to keep up, and as long as it’s easy to keep up, it’s easy to do, and the rewards are huge. I think I’m out of the panic stage :-)