Faragon's blog

As my wise confidante was looking for an inspired idea to write about, I realised how long it had been since I wrote something sensible here. It got me wondering. I could think of a thousand good ideas for intelligent and insightful blog postings for someone else, but for my own blog, I couldn’t think of anything. There is so much on my mind, it spins around and weaves patterns in chaos, it goes blank when I am a little overloaded and gently lets me slide back into consciousness after moments like that, as if to protect me from being hit with reality to hard.
I don’t appear to be able to control my mind though, I once wrote: “My thoughts, astray, trains derailed and moving at frightening speeds none the less…“, and it still feels a lot like that. My mind wanders, and as I wonder why, it wanders further and further from the subject at hand, it’s one of the reasons I can’t complete a single meaningful blog posting. As soon as I set my mind to something that has no ties to the physical world, my head follows it’s own agenda.

As Tim Krabbe, an accomplished chess player and writer wrote in “de Renner” (an abbreviation of the Dutch word for bicyclist, but actually meaning “the runner”, you really can’t translate pun), he went to France to find inspiration for this book, but he found that when you ride your bike, your thoughts come like a polished marble, no new thoughts will cling on to it, yet when you play chess, this marble forms hooks and eyes, and strings of thought latch on to it and in their turn attach themselves to new thoughts and so on. I read that book a long time ago, I think it was when I was still in high school. It must have been more than 10 years now, but that one passage resonated in my head (together with him describing the skin on his tanned arms, but that’s not nearly as deep as this).

I picked up physical exercise again, I had to, and today, as I was running my last bit for the day, I remembered that book and that theory again. I know I’m not stupid, I had that tested, but I can’t control my mind, I need to be running, or riding a bike to get some peace and quiet in my head. Perhaps I have to much going on in my head, but is that an overload coming from the inside, or the outside?
Am I to intelligent for my own good, or just to stupid to see that I am the one who blows everything up in my head to make my life an insurmountable pile of stray thoughts?

And with that, I have wandered upon yet another thing to wonder about. I think I’m voting for the latter option out of those two ;-)