What I honestly think about honesty
As I was standing in the shower a few days back, and I let my mind wander and wondered about the things we don’t say. Ever since then, my thoughts are drawn back to that, to why we don’t say what we don’t say.
I have come to expect openness and honesty from my friends, but judging myself honestly leads me to believe that I don’t extend the same courtesy to them. Does that make me a bad person or just easier to get along with?
Why am I afraid to be honest with my friends, if they are more likely to help than to judge? Why would I be reluctant to ask people about the things we agreed to do to begin with? I gave it a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that it’s fear. Fear of rejection mostly.
Is making the choice not to mention certain things something that will alienate people or will it do quite the opposite? Where is that boundary, between easy going and anti-social? On which end of the scale would I be?
I can’t figure it out. I’ve decided to make some changes in my attitude, and this has been one since December or so. Slowly but surely I’m taking more proactive steps to let people know how I feel and what I want. Hopefully I can weed out the people who aren’t willing to put up with me the way I am, and keep the ones that are there for the long haul.
Now if only I can pick up the phone tomorrow and make all the calls I want to make ;-) Oh well, those are worries for tomorrow :-)