All or nothing
Most of my life I’ve struggled with a perfectionist “all or nothing” approach to just about anything.
A few months back, I started seeing a life coach. A life coach basically is a psychologist that doesn’t take years and years to talk about what went wrong, but someone who uses a more direct approach. In our first conversation, he asked me what I wanted out of these sessions.
I told him something along the lines of “I want discipline to finish things”. Together we discuss why I don’t do what I want to do and why I’m stuck in the rut I’m in.
About a month ago, someone told me about FLY-lady, a baby step approach to de-cluttering your home and getting into routines to keep your house tidy.
Partially because of that perfectionist stroke I have, and partially because of my backproblems, I couldn’t keep my house tidy. With these two concepts, I’ve started to come about and take better care of myself and my house. OK, so I can’t do a day’s worth of dishes in one go. Instead of frustrating myself senseless, I now do it in two bouts. As long as it gets done!
Some of the principles that FLY-lady teaches I can project on other aspects of my life too.
Besides learning that it’s ok to take a break every 5 minutes if I need to and go from there, I’ve also started to be more active again socially.
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Half a year ago, I wouldn’t have gone, and if I would have gone, I would have done anything I could to let no one know I was in agony, and consequently, I would have hurt myself. The past weekend was nothing like that. When I was in pain, I laid down, or found a quiet spot to chill out.
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I had a blast. I enjoyed the people, the music, the ambiance and the weather (ok, maybe Saturday’s rain is excluded from that). I’m so incredibly glad I went, in spite of all my fears and reservations.
I do however have 1051 pictures to dig through and post. A few people have asked me to send them specific snaps, and loads of them need cropping, so stay tuned for a full Castlefest report, I’ll try to get all the half decent ones online soon :-)
For now, I’m taking it slow, not going for the “all or nothing” in wanting to sort through them all in one go. Actually, I did some sorting today, I’m going to do some more housework now, half the dishes need doing ;-)
You know what? I’m not behind, I’m just getting started :-)
4 comments
Permalink1
Je nieuwe mantra: “Beter is slechter dan goed genoeg”
Permalink2
Ach, dat zou ik ook weer niet zeggen ;-)
Maar überhaupt gedaan is in ieder geval veel beter dan niet gedaan :-)
Permalink3
Flylady has helped me greatly in keeping my house under control. You do need to get past the very american attitude, but her idea of ‘anything you do is better than doing nothing until you can do it perfectly’ was an eyeopener for me. And cleaning for 15 minutes is about all I’m willing to do.
Wish you wisdom and fun in finding a way between all and nothing.
Permalink4
I’m amazed at how many people know about the concept, and how many people are actually implementing it.
I thought I was a major idiot for not being able to do it all by myself, but I figured whatever works for me is fine. I never knew more people who are not BO exist ;-)